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February 9, 2013

As Blizzard Nemo Strikes, Global Warming Won’t Be Far Behind

FROM-Town Hall



John Ransom

Blizzard Nemo is bearing down on the Northeast- hence the term nor’easter to describe it- so prepare for the folks at Fashion Week, now being held in New York City, to be out in force battling the storm.

“The organizers of New York's Fashion Week,” reports the CSMonitor, “a closely watched series of fashion shows held under a big tent – said they will have extra crews to help with snow removal and will turn up the heat and add an extra layer to the venue.”

We can only hope that they wear furs.

Because we’ll need blizzards of hilarity to withstand the up-and-coming storm, which will be the worst storm ever since, well, the last “WORST-STORM-EVER!”

However, we won’t have to brace against the snow per se; there have been plenty of monster winter storms in the Northeast that have been shrugged off, shoveled out from and tobogganed on.

Even in the midst of an outbreak of global warming, snow still, after all, eventually melts. Even in New England.

“Yes,” said Mark Twain, a resident of Connecticut, “one of the brightest gems in the New England weather is the dazzling uncertainty ofit.”

So, the biggest storm we’ll face won’t be Nemo, in other words; it will be the blizzard of pseudo-scientific, trash journalistic, moralizing, hypocrisizing and hyperventilating rain of ink that will tie the storm to the effects of global warming.

Al Gore can’t fart sideways today without the gas being caused by global warming.

By definition, global warming can now be defined by anything that disturbs the comfort and security of anyone who lives on the Eastern seaboard.

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